It Feels Dangerous to Be Optimistic

My whole life I have been that person in class who waves their arm wildly when the teacher asks for a volunteer, excited at the thought of doing something different. I get enthusiastic trying new things and I’m not afraid to show it. I crave change. I loved my career in the Army, which is less about routine and more about stretching yourself in ways you would never have done on your own. I am energized by a new start almost more than anything.

So, 2020 has been hard on me. My delight over small things and tendency toward joy has suffered. Fear-based feelings have taken a toll on my optimism. And I don’t think I’m alone. Like every other person on the planet I have had to give up some of the most fundamental human needs: contact with others.

But as crazy as it feels for someone who has been imagining worst case scenarios for most of 2020, I feel like 2021 is going to offer better. And I am pressing the reset button on the part of my brain that sees the glass as half full. It may take a few weeks to become fully automatic. Like the doctor said about my sore knee. It didn’t happen overnight and it won’t be cured right away. But until my optimistic nature kicks back in, I am going to stay upbeat, reframing bad events and seeing the good where ever possible. Consciously. Mindfully. On Purpose.

It will require that I shift my focus. Probably have to squint the first few days. The change doesn’t mean I’m not concerned about the health of my loved ones or state of the world. It means that I am now thinking about best-cased scenarios. Feeling hope. And love.

2021 — Bring it on!